Wednesday, February 15, 2006

St. Valentine's Day (of the Dead)

The above picture was taken inside the local Kroger, near the florist department, at 4:53 PM on February 14, 2006.

Valentine's Day, or what it has become, is one of my pet peeves.

I inevitably find myself inside a Kroger on February 14, because my one and only Valentine's Day tradition is to make a nice dinner for my wife and myself. And this truly is a big deal, because if left to my own vices, a sleeve of Saltines, a Kraft American cheese single, and a can of Spaghetti-Os constitutes a "pretty good" dinner.

And every year it's the same scene: middle-aged men milling about the well-picked greeting cards or gazing vacantly into the floral refrigerators with long trails of drool oozing from the corners of their mouths. If George Romero ever gets around to doing a fifth installment of his "Dead" series (and it could be in the works), the Kroger floral department on February 14 would be a nice shooting location.

This is a holiday? I suspect many men engage in these yearly exercises due to some deeply-embedded sense of obligation, either self-imposed, or imposed by significant others.

Indeed, observing these sad creatures shuffle their way across the fluorescent-lit flooring makes me wonder if there is any real feeling in their purchases, or whether the money is forked over without thought like some pseudo-social obligatory enactment or a mindless mid-February ritual.

Nuts to that, I say. Nuts to that.


Anonymous Nissan Quest said...

My goodness, if left to your own devices, you'd be consuming far too much sodium! Anyhow, I too found myself at Kro-gre on 2/14. The line for flowers was incredible. Insanely, none of these depressed and anxious middle aged men bothered to leave the line for the normal check-out. So I, being the perfect husband, toiled for 2.5 seconds on the perfect boquet of roses for my lulu-belle, then raced around the corner, swiped a box of chocolates, then ran through the express checkout and was out the door before the dolt at the beginning of the line for flowers was done! It took all of 3 minutes. Dinner was left over chili though, nothing special, but we did use dinosaur shaped crackers.

1:27 PM  

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